“Drunk calories don’t count, right?”
“No, and drunk words don’t either.” TSM.

Uber ride of shame. TSM.

There is a special place in heaven for boys who understand the importance of asking you to formal in the most public and extravagant way possible. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

Having the body of a trophy wife and the brains of a surgeon. TSM.

“If you don’t want to date me that’s fine, but you’re wrong and I hate you.”- Workaholics. TSM.