Where are my keys? Phone? Dignity? Whatever, best two out of three. TSM.

I shaved my legs for this. It better be worth it. TSM.

Instagram post or it didn’t happen. TSM.

“But then I found out he was a democrat, so I ended it.” TSM.

Using “I’m a legacy” as your excuse for everything, even if it’s not applicable to the situation. TSM.

Yesterday’s dress with today’s shame all over it. TSM.

Inviting your slampiece over to hook up, but not before he gives you the notes for the class you skipped for brunch. TSM.

Guys calling dibs on you three months before formal. TSM.

Memorizing your credit card number way before you memorize any of your notes, because you online shop far more often than you study. TSM.

Beating the guys at their own game — whether it’s beer pong or matters of the heart — every single time. TSM.