Paying for a Diet Coke with a $100 bill. TSM.

The only reason I can’t wear size 0 dresses is because my boobs are too big. TSM.

Martha Stewart went to jail because she tried to do a fratdaddy’s job. TSM.

Blair Waldorf needs to go to Standards for making out with that GDI Humphrey. TSM.

Shacking tonight because my room is messy and the maid is coming tomorrow. TSM.

I haven’t slept in my own bed since Wednesday. TSM.