I can do all things through Starbucks which strengthens me. TSM.

Using Venmo to pay for drugs. TSTC.

Measuring your hangovers on the Richter scale. TSM.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you probably have healthy boundaries. TSM.

Spending more time on hair and makeup for pref night than formal. TSM.

Better safe than standards. TSM.

Showing up to an alcohol awareness event hungover AF. TSM.

Your 21st birthday Pinterest board being bigger than your wedding board. TSM.

I’m judging you for NOT doing it. TSM.

The rest of the world is simply not like us. TSM.