Is it because I’m so strong, or because I’m so drunk that I snapped my wine opener in half? TSM.

Wine doesn’t have the calorie count written on the label, so I’m going to take that to mean it doesn’t have any. TSM.

Relating Mean Girls to my Educational Diversity class. TSM.

My wine consumption has gotten to the point where I just call it “Jesus water.” TSM.

His jeans are negotiable. His genes aren’t. TSM.

You call it bitchy. I call it honesty. TSM.