Saving your calories for wine. TSM.

Chasing with a blow job with a Diet Coke. TSM.

Calling Tinder a “mutual friend” when someone asks how you met. TSM.

Never having to pay the cover. TSM.

Having a nickname for every hookup. TSM.

Using your doctor’s suggestion to get more Vitamin C as an excuse to drink mimosas. TSM.

Conference calls at 3am to discuss whether or not to accept a booty call. TSM.