Explaining to your boyfriend that turning down free drinks at the bar would be fiscally irresponsible. TSM.

“I only wear makeup when there are boys and alcohol involved.” TSM.

Referring to any non-alcoholic beverage as a chaser. TSM.

“I just like him so much that I feel like I’ve had ten drinks today. And I’ve only had six.” -Phoebe Buffay. TSM.

Looking up the projected income of your new boy’s major before taking it too far. TSM.

When a guy asks you what’s going on at his own fraternity this weekend. TSM.

Telling a guy your own age he’s too young for you. TSM.

Inexplicably changing your Twitter name to Elle Woods every time you’re drunk. TSM.