When your 60-year-old alumnae tell you not to worry, because they were alcoholics too. TSM.

That one girl who always disappears at parties. TSM.

“They’re real.” TSM.

Referring to the standards chair as “the dictator.” TSM.

Signing all your emails, “You know you love me.” TSM.

Losing your dignity while gaining respect. TSM.

Kiss and do tell. TSM.

Constantly finding clothes in your closet that aren’t yours. TSM.

Taylor Swift would definitely tell me I’m the brunette bitch in “You belong with me.” TSM.

You can’t drink with us. TSM.