Planning to stay in until you realize how good your hair looks that night. TSM.

Being more excited for the week before homecoming than you are for the actual game. TSM.

Fancying yourself an expert at planting the seed of doubt in the brains of girls you hate. TSM.

Constantly toeing the line between flirting and letting him know he has no chance with you. TSM.

Never pooping, despite only drinking coffee and alcohol. TSM.

Keying the perfect shotgun hole without getting beer on your dress. TSM.

Looking effortlessly flawless as you stroll into class 20 minutes late. TSM.

Checking to see if iOS7 has any new creep features. TSM.

“I’m judging you for NOT doing it.” TSM.

Having the hottest pledge class of all time for the 162nd year in a row. TSM.