The passive aggressive lowercase, no exclamation point “happy birthday” on Facebook, to let your frenemy know you couldn’t give a fuck less. TSM.

The best way to get his attention is by not giving him yours. TSM.

Pinterest is like fantasy football for girls. TSM.

I’m tired of being the better person. One day, I’ll be the bitch they claim I am. TSM.

If I could major in sorority, I would be the valedictorian. TSM.

Going the long way home because the houses have better Christmas lights. TSM.

Multitasking usually includes driving, doing your makeup, and planning your night with a sister on the phone. TSM.

When my sorority’s national magazine comes in the mail my entire day becomes exponentially better. TSM.

On the sign-up for our sorority family pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving, wine was the only thing anyone signed up for. TSM.