The bartender pretending not to notice how bad your fake is. TSM.

Your mom making sure you brought your fake ID home for brunch. TSM.

Went to Derby. Never saw a horse. TSM.

Bragging about your sorority’s accomplishments even though you didn’t show up to a single event sober. TSM.

Justifying manicures to Daddy by explaining you’re more productive when you’re pretty. TSM.

Being offended when someone asks if your nails are fake. TSM.

Not being able to pass down your ID because all of the bouncers and bartenders know you. TSM.

Always wearing pearl earrings, even when you’re just in norts and a frocket. TSM.

Sitting at happy hour with your pledge sisters scrutinizing every new member in the Bid Day pictures in search of your perfect grandlittle. TSM.

Don’t fly coach, don’t buy Coach. TSM.