As I walk through the valley in the shadow of the frat house, I will fear no standards, for my vodka and whiskey they comfort me. TSM.

Braving the elements to get wine. TSM.

Sorry I made you look fat for the sake of myself look skinny with my skinny app. TSM.

Spring break plans? Get hella turnt and somewhat burnt. TSM.

“Do you have any hot friends?”
“All my friends are hot.” TSM.

Moms’ Weekend turning your crazy, semi-alcoholic friends into wholesome girls you don’t even recognize. TSM.

Remembering the night by what you wore, not what you did. TSM.

Last one to get ready. First one to get drunk. TSM.

Sometimes, I wonder how all those drunk girls I’ve bonded with in bathrooms are doing. TSM.

“Is vodka a carb?” TSM.