I’d rather be safe, than standards. TSM.

Checking his fraternity’s local website, because you can’t remember his name. TSM.

Being drunker than the birthday girl. TSTC.

Throwing parties for yourself at his frat house. TSM.

“She’s like a less hot, GDI version of me.” TSM.

I’m not like regular bigs. I’m a cool big. TSM.

Having more of his letters than he does. TSM.

FLOWER HEADBANDS AREN’T STUPID. YOU ARE. TSM.

Your credit card company flagging charges for school books because they are “unusual.” TSM.

“I heard that bar was closing, and I actually cried.” TSM.