Stalking PNMs the second they graduate high school. TSM.

Waking up next to Taco Bell and feeling way more ashamed than if it had been a guy. TSM.

The only clubs I go to are country clubs. TSM.

Getting voted most likely to wake up at a frat house on Sunday morning. TSM.

Give me wine or give me *death.

*vodka. TSM.

Your most recent searches on Instagram being all of the Kardashians. TSM.

You know you’re a mess when your phone autocorrects drunk to drunj. TSTC.