Having Tinder in the apps folder labeled “shopping.” TSM.

I got 99 problems, but a bid ain’t one. TSM.

Am I even pretty enough to be her big? TSM.

Planning Instagram captions a week in advance. TSM.

Making Jello-O shots with a Keurig in your dorm. TSM.

Only Standards can judge me. TSM.

“Every time we relate to a TSM, drink your moscato.” -how to finish a bottle of wine in five minutes. TSTC.