The freshmen begging you to go out with them, because you’re an icon. TSM.

I just want him to text me so I can ignore him. TSM.

The amount of glitter in my bed would make you think I’d fucked the tooth fairy. TSM.

I wish I could just monogram my boyfriend so everyone would know he was mine. TSM.

Always on Tinder, sometimes swiping right, never messaging back. TSM.

Spending all of Clue Week convincing your little she isn’t your little. TSM.

Not having money to buy groceries, but always coming up with enough cash for a new formal dress, cooler-making supplies, and alcohol. TSM.

I’m not like regular standards chairs. I’m a cool standards chair. TSM.

Dropping by Target for a cardigan and Plan B. TSM.

That one girl who always disappears at parties. TSM.