God doesn’t give you the sisters you want, he gives you the sisters you need. TSM.

All I do is wine, wine, wine. TSM.

It’s St. Patrick’s Day. My eyes are green… Does that count? TSM.

Cacophobia is the fear of ugliness. Shit, I think I have that. TSM.

I love things that make my boobs look really big and my waist look really tiny, like my birthday suit. TSM.

When in doubt, drink. TSM.

Hoping that your fratdaddy’s little sister pledges your sorority so she can be your little sister too. TSM.