None of my friends got pregnant in high school. TSM.

The only boys that can get below my Mason-Dixon Line are those who have pledged under it. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Okay geed, you may think I “bought” my friends but at least I don’t have to take photos of myself in the bathroom just so there’s pictures of me on Facebook. TSM.

I’m a Hepburn, not a Hilton. TSM.

Dear standards,
sorry for partying. TSM.

You’re right GDI. Leggings aren’t pants…if you’re fat. TSM.

I don’t play hard to get. I am hard to get. TSM.