Getting “I can’t remember who I’m making out with” drunk. TSM.

Your little using your grandbig’s ID. TSM.

Sneaking out of his room before he wakes, but raiding his closet for rush shirts before you go. TSM.

The new pledge mom saying she’s in labor once recruitment begins. TSM.

Popping an Adderall so you can Facebook stalk PNMs with greater efficiency. TSM.

The higher the heels, the further he falls. TSM.

“I’m at the house, and it’s been awhile since you’ve said something inappropriate. I need to take you off speaker.” TSM.

The obvious discrepancy between the bra size you should wear and the bra size you do wear, because bigger bras don’t look as cute. TSM.

Rocking him like a wagon wheel. TSM.

If the makers of Crystal Light only knew. TSM.