New Year’s Eve revolving around champagne, sparkles, and a drunken makeout. TSM.

Getting legitimately angry when a weird girl is pretty. TSM.

Knowing exactly when a situation calls for a bitch fit, and when it calls for the occasional “you’re so manly and wonderful” white flag. TSM.

If your parents don’t think you have alcoholism when you’re home for break, you’re not drinking enough. TSM.

That evening that will forever be remembered as “the night you threw up in your hair.” TSM.

The only job I’ve ever had is a boob job. TSM.

Judging people by how well their Christmas tree is decorated. TSM.

Your penis…has a great personality. TSM.

Being told “I thought you dropped this class” when you show up for the final. TSM.

Never registering for an 8AM class because the only time you should see 7:30 is during a walk of shame. TSM.