Taking Plan B with champagne, because not getting pregnant is something to celebrate. TSM.

Never eating carbs, but drinking them regularly. TSM.

The boyfriend showing up with a bottle of fireball, a skinny latte, and an apology. TSM.

Forgetting you’re not actually related to your big. TSM.

“Running errands” at the craft store, the liquor store, and Target for Diet Coke. TSM.

Mentally canceling all of your classes during Greek Week. TSM.

Swapportunity: the opportunity to swap out dinner for alcohol. Is that not how it works? TSM.

Doing squats in the tanning booth, because multi-tasking. TSM.

Your big-little gifts making it onto Nationals’ Instagram. TSM.

Liking him on Tinder just because he has a picture of him wearing your letters. TSM.