Keep your friends close, and your standards chair the closer. TSM.

Never being sent to standards, because everyone is afraid of you, not because you follow the rules. TSM.

I’m concerned. My responsibilities are starting to interfere with my drinking. TSM.

Going on more dates with your big than any member of the male population. TSM.

Standards:”Thanks for coming tonight.”
Me:”Yes, well thanks for inviting me.” TSTC.