The only three things a guy should want to change about a girl are her last name, her address, and her point of view on men. TSM.

Elle Woods would’ve proven Casey Anthony was guilty. TSM.

If more females would sit down and be ladies, more males would stand up and be gentlemen. TSM.

There needs to be a Facebook Family option for ‘Big’ and ‘Little.’ TSM.

I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

The only boys that can get below my Mason-Dixon Line are those who have pledged under it. TSM.

Okay geed, you may think I “bought” my friends but at least I don’t have to take photos of myself in the bathroom just so there’s pictures of me on Facebook. TSM.

Feminism is for ugly girls. TSM.

Adopting an underprivileged teenager and having him become an NFL star. TSM.

Being a Jackie, not a Marilyn. TSM.