Vodka SUGAR FREE Red Bull. TSM.

During exam week I leave an Adderall on my fratdaddy’s pillow after making his bed. TSM.

My little sister just stuck her tongue out when we asked her what she thought of Obama. And she’s wearing Lilly Pulitzer. She’s 3. TSM.

Completing an undergraduate degree, with an engagement ring on my left hand and an alumni fratstar surgeon on my right. TSM.

Pregaming with low-cal cucumber mojitos before shoe shopping at Neiman Marcus. TSM.

My dad prefers skiing on the east coast, but my mom and I prefer the west coast. Needless to say we own two ski cabins. TSM.

Getting the sudden urge to rear-end anyone with an Obama 2008 bumper sticker. TSM.

“She’s my sister and I love her, but…” TSM.

I’ll only hook up with you if you’re on the top row of your composite. TSM.