We’re not taking a Spring pledge class because it’s a sign of weakness. TSM.

I chose my affiliation based on the sorority with the highest marriage proposal rate upon graduation. TSM.

My little sister told me all she wanted was a bid next year. I told her no promises. TSM.

The older you dress, the faster my panties drop. TSM.

Getting a new outfit to play in the BCS Championship Bowl. TSM.

My pie crust never starts as frozen, my tomato sauce never comes in a can, and I’ve never been told my cooking is “ok.” TSM.

I’m choosing Edward because Jacob wears jorts. TSM.

Wishing Facebook had a GDI blocker so they couldn’t creep on me. TSM.

Just made homemade dog biscuits for my frat daddy’s Labrador. TSM.