Reading Southern Living while waiting for my Xanax prescription. TSM.

Disney gave me completely realistic expectations of love. TSM.

Waking up early on a Sunday morning to make my fratdaddy breakfast in bed, and making extra eggs for his fratador retriever so that her coat stays shiny. TSM.

Daddy bought me the BMW I wanted. Of course, I don’t drive, that’s a man’s job. TSM.

Not only does deer season open this weekend, deb season does too. TSM.

I re-tease my hair before I do the Walk of Shame. TSM.

Asked a PNM for her address to add her for spring invites, but really just wanted to GoogleMap her house to see if she was good enough. She wasn’t. TSM.

I was Grand Marshal of the parade of shame this morning. Sorry about it. TSM.