A dad just asked if my monogramed Jon Hart satchel was a King Ranch bird bag. TSM.

Got a fraternity pledge’s number at a party. Invited him over and made him clean the house. TSM.

Cargo shorts are my pet peeve. TSM.

The sole purpose of my father’s natural gas wells in Wyoming are to underwrite my ability to purchase and show six figure horses. TSM.

Making a pledge write a ten pager on the history of Classic American Fashion. She should know better than to wear gold Jack Rogers with her silver pledge pin. TSM.

I do my fratdaddy’s laundry, but Campus Laundry Services does mine. TSM.

My slampiece told me she did the walk of shame straight into her standards hearing Sunday morning. TSM.

Stop looking at me, GDI. TSM.

Daddy has a black AMEX Centurion card. I just got one in the mail with my name on it and a note that says, “Your mother isn’t spending enough now that you’re gone, can you help us out by using $20,000 a month?” TSM.

I wasn’t wearing make- up today, but some GDI girl still asked what foundation I use. TSM.