My running route purposely goes past every Frat Castle on campus so all the Frat Daddy’s can watch me run past in my sports-bra and Nike running shorts. TSM.

$1000 allowance.. plus Daddy’s credit card. TSM.

…even my vibrator is monogrammed. TSM.

I only wear a bow in my hair to look innocent and fool the housemom while it’s actually screaming “come back to the srat house. I’m DTF”. TSM.

Getting a legacy to spill her boy and booze stories during recruitment and acting like you give a shit in order to write BSE on her note card. TSM.

Frat Rush is for tricking. Formals are for shacking. Spring Break is for cheating. Sratting is for a lifetime. TSM.

The first thing I do when I meet a frat daddy is picture what our monogram would look like if we got married. TSM.

Never having to open a door on campus. TSM.

New Text Message: I just put $1,000 in for the week. Love you! Mom. TSM.

When I have to fill out “race” I’m tempted to check “other” and write W.A.S.P. TSM.