The only way I will attract a suitable husband is if I study in the law library, wear nike running shorts, sorority T-shirts, am a public relations major, and don’t make eye contact with GDIs. TSM.

My baby frat lab is getting too big for the front seat of my G35, so daddy’s getting me a new luxury SUV. TSM.

Talk to the Yurman. TSM.

Rush is interesting. Better after I popped my Addie cause I couldn’t remember names for shit! We’ve had like 800 girls go through so far, some cute, some straight up ninjas. TSM.

Some girl asked why I was charging $50 for my party. I told her it wasn’t for the $100 bottles of burbon or the hand rolled cubans. It was to keep poor GDIs like her out. TSM.

Daddyyyyyy. TSM.

Yes my shoes cost more than your whole outfit combined and no we can’t be Facebook friends. You wreak of cheap perfume and poverty. TSM.

Hiding the trolls downstairs during rush, clothes checks, hot boxing legacies, black balling skanks and dirty rushing the shit out of girls. TSM.

Just dumped my boyfriend. He told me he didn’t plan on rushing when we get to college this fall…TSM.

I have a different colored Polo hat to match every pair of my Nike Shorts. TSM.