I thought the man holding the door open for me was exceptionally fratty, then I noticed it was Will Muschamp. TSM.

I don’t know how to pump gas. TSM.

SEC Cheerleader by day, frat castle-hopping sorostitute by night. TSM.

Southern girls get David Yurman and Tory Burch, Northern girls get Cartier and Chanel. TSM.

Never had my belly button pierced. TSM.

Referring to rooms in our house by their colors. TSM.

Just mean-mugged a random Tri-Delt in the airport. TSM.

Okay geed, you may think I “bought” my friends but at least I don’t have to take photos of myself in the bathroom just so there’s pictures of me on Facebook. TSM.