I spent more time judging people’s outfits at Christmas mass than I did praying. TSM.

Every Christmas my entire family takes a pictures on the front steps of my grandparent’s house. The same plantation house, where starting back in 1755, a painting or picture has been made every single year. Except the years where all the sons were off being officers in the Confederacy. TSM.

I frequently confuse country club membership number with my school ID number. TSM.

My daddy is an arrogant asshole to everyone, except me. TSM.

Cutting a legacy to “give her a chance to be happy in another chapter.” TSM.

5-9, 105 pounds, D cup, natural blonde. Just something else Mommy and Daddy gave me, good genes. TSM.

The first thing I look at is a guy’s shoes. TSM.

I’ve never been seen without full makeup and a plate of homemade brownies. TSM.

I had a wine hangover for the third year in a row for my family Christmas card pictures. TSM.