I keep my Adderall in a Tiffany box. TSM.

I don’t like to brag, but I can and I do. TSM.

My mom brought me in with her to see her plastic surgeon because she wanted her new boobs too look exactly like mine. TSM.

Pretending to be surprised when daddy buys me a new car for Christmas. TSM.

If you don’t have a number after your name, you won’t be getting mine. TSM.

People also drive to my neighborhood to look at Christmas lights, but they can’t get in the gate. TSM.

Fratdaddy is coming over to haze me when he is finished hazing pledges. TSM.

Gingerbread mansion. TSM.

If you’re NF, then we’re NF (not friends). TSM.