Justifying the Franzia in your Dasani bottle with “Jesus turned the water into wine.” TSM.

I’m totally going to hell. It’s okay though, my little’s driving the bus. TSM.

Beer, it’s what’s for dinner…and breakfast…and lunch. TSM.

Correcting your waitress on the daily drink specials. TSM.

Taking tequila shots before studying latin to ensure a multicultural experience. TSM.

Instinctively responding “I didn’t do it!” when someone yells your name. TSM.

Drunken first aid. TSM.