10. Cleaning semen off my computer screen after an especially messy YouPorn session. Comrade Smirnoff dissolves those knuckle children like napalm on a rebel village and leaves my MacBook shiny and streak-free.
Yes because playing a few games of Madden with a glass of scotch after coming home from my six-figure job is a lot less mature than you eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching soap operas and not doing the laundry which is your only task for the day you lazy bitch.
Is Parks really dating Pearls?
10. Cleaning semen off my computer screen after an especially messy YouPorn session. Comrade Smirnoff dissolves those knuckle children like napalm on a rebel village and leaves my MacBook shiny and streak-free.
I’m sure you’ll be a great asset to the Anonymous State militia should an invasion occur.
Yes because playing a few games of Madden with a glass of scotch after coming home from my six-figure job is a lot less mature than you eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching soap operas and not doing the laundry which is your only task for the day you lazy bitch.
We probably won’t notice. That 2AM text you get from us is usually a mass booty call that’s going out to like 9 other girls.
No guy wants to marry a girl who’s had more than 10 dicks inside her.