Take One Sip
Every time one of the models mispronounces something.
For every clothing or accessory Rihanna is wearing that makes you think “What?”
If a bra doesn’t seem functional.
Every time an angel blows a kiss.
For every Victoria’s Secret item in the room.
If Bruno Mars is wearing a fedora, vest, or sunglasses (one sip each).
Drink for 5 Seconds
If someone in the room says, “I really don’t think her face is that pretty.”
If someone in the room makes a lesbian joke about Justin Bieber.
For every belly button comment.
If J Biebs shamelessly flirts with a model.
For each celebrity you see in the audience.
When an angel walks out onto the runway with both hands in the air, prompting the audience to cheer for her.
Drink for 10 Seconds
If someone mentions Heidi Klum.
For each angel that hasn’t gotten her wings yet.
Each time you find a nonexistent flaw hidden on one of their perfect bodies.
If you see something you’d actually consider buying.
If someone points out knobby knees in an attempt to make themselves feel better.
Finish Your Drink If…
Any of the models claims to have been “not cool” in high school.
You’re the first person to say you’re never eating again.
Someone falls.
Rihanna tries to steal attention from the angels like Nicki Minaj did last year.
You genuinely can’t tell the difference between Adriana Lima’s voice and a man’s.
You still have no intention of changing your diet and exercise routine.
Never stop drinking, ever if…
There’s a purposeful wardrobe malfunction.
One of the models is an undercover government agent and saves the venue from a bomb planted by one of the staff orchestrating the show.
Tyra shows up, runs on the stage, rips Miranda Kerr’s wings off, and claims no one will ever be the angel she was.
Heidi follows suit.
Nice Move214
Respond
Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
@VeronicaRuckh
vmruckh
veronica@grandex.co
