What I Wish I Could Tell PNMs


I really wish I could tell you, recruitment sucks. It’s so hard. You’ll walk miles and sometimes have to run them. You’ll talk to really terribly boring people. Seriously. Some of the worst conversations I had at this school were during recruitment. One girl just stared at me for 10 minutes and then brought up her fantastic “sisterhood.” It was uncomfortable. You’ll have to be “on” and perky and “the best version of yourself” for twelve plus hours a day no matter how much you’d rather be day drinking or eating or doing anything else besides talking about your major for the 18th time.

We say we’re not judging you, but I wish I could tell you we are. Recruitment is exactly that. You think I mean on your clothes, but I wish it were that simple. We’re judging whether or not you’ll fit in. If you act weird, you probably won’t. I’m sorry but that’s just the truth. No matter how cute your dress from Tobi is or how flawless your contour, if one girl doesn’t like you for whatever reason, you probably won’t be asked back to that house.

Mostly, though, I wish I could tell you that we have it way harder than you. Think about how badly you don’t want to be there? Imagine being on the bottom of that door-stack in a dress and heels in the 90-degree weather screaming but still trying to sound “perky.” Imagine going to hours on end of recruitment practice which is mostly – you guessed it – chanting. Imagine praying that your perfect little will run up on Bid Day and fearing there’s a chance that she slipped through the cracks. I really wish I could tell you that as enthused as we sound chanting, none of us are actually that perky. Not one.

You may be nervous now, but I promise you that every girl in a sorority right now is ten times more nervous. We can’t tell you that, of course, but we are. Every sorority on this campus is trying to get the best girls. Sorry, fighting to get the best girls. You’re one of them. But overall, “trust the process” as strange as the whole process is.

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Surprisingly tmarcs to be a lawyer. She has a horrible Chicago-Italian mixed with Midwestern accent. Would never make it in a sorority in the South. From liability to risk manager. Tell her how to live a less fraternity, more sorority life at

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