What It Would Look Like If Barbie Had A Realistic College Experience

With so much girl power in the air, the Barbie game has really changed. Gone are the days of dolls centered around shopping, cooking, and lounging poolside. Now, you can catch Barbie pursuing all kinds of careers. She’s an astronaut, a nurse, an entrepreneur–I mean, she even has a LinkedIn profile. She truly has it all: a blossoming professional life, a hot-ass boyfriend, and a trim figure she’s somehow maintained (that bitch). While I applaud Mattel for making huge steps to support feminism, the company has forgotten a crucial step in Barbie’s career path toward world domination: college.

It’s about time Miss Barbara received a collegiate makeover. The possibilities are endless: Toga Barbie, Formal Barbie and Ken (hangover sold separately), Freshman 15 Barbie, and maybe even Shacker Barbie. Personally, I know I’d pretend to buy one of these Barbies for “my little cousin Sarah,” then shamelessly keep her on display. While I am a mere columnist who is nowhere close to the minds over at Mattel, if I had to dream up College Barbie, she’d look a little something like this.