Columns

What It’s Like To Be Called Into Standards, According To The Kardashians

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 9.50.38 AM

Ugh. Please don’t make me go.

It begins when you get an email saying you’ve been called into standards.

You immediately freak out.

First you call your friends to discuss strategy. You’re concerned because you think they’ve already made up their minds.

Then you call your mom to complain about being called in at all.

Meeting day comes. You are called into the meeting and sit down.

You try and keep your cool.

You apologize for your actions, even though you don’t really think you did anything wrong.

Your chapter advisor asks you to adjust your sarcastic tone.

You’re all like

The board asks you if you know what you did was inappropriate. What you want to say is this

What you actually say is this

The board asks what value you bring to the chapter.

The standards board discusses your punishment. Since a few of them have done the same thing you did, they decide to be lenient.

You’re grateful not to be in big trouble. You happily sign your warning.

You decide to change your ways. Then you get a text from your big…

At first, you’re like

But then you figure

Headed to the bar. You’ll change your ways later.

Email this to a friend

Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More