What Winter Break Is Really Like, As Told By “Elf”

what winter break is really like

At the beginning of November, we start looking forward to winter break. We dream of the class-free days, when we can do as much or as little as we want. As we pack our dirty clothes to go home, we have visions of our mom bringing us snacks as we lie on the couch, bingeing on Netflix. We make plans to go out every night with our high school friends, and, of course, it will be just like it was back then. But once we’re home for a few days, the harsh reality of winter break really sets in.

You’re so excited to be home, you can hardly stand it.

You have so many plans for all the things you’re going to do during break.

For the first few days, your mom is so excited to have you home that she waits on you hand and foot…while pestering you with questions.

Her pampering goes against your diet, but what the hell?

After a few days of cleaning up after you, her excitement wears off.

Once it starts snowing, the thought of going outside is suddenly unappealing.

You decide to stay in and read.

Getting used to living with your family again can be hard.

But at least your best friend is finally coming home from school, too.

As soon as she’s home, you ask her to go to Chipotle.

You are so excited to see her that you’re practically jumping up and down…

…until you discover that she brought this other girl from high school, who you hate.

Apparently they are BFFs now since they go to the same school.

You play it off like you don’t care.

But inside you are dying.

You go home and try to eat away your feelings.

A few days of moping commences as you deal with your betrayal.

Your mother tells you it’s time to snap out of it, get off the couch, and take a shower.

It’s time to put up the holiday decorations!

You’re actually pretty excited for that.

You’re given the responsibility of the outside lights. You mention it’s a lot of work for one person, but no one really cares.

Everyone gathers outside to admire your handiwork.

The holiday passes in a blur of fattening food and mildly disappointing gifts.

But you pretend you love everything you get.

The pretending promptly ends on Dec. 26, when the boredom sets in.

Finally, it’s time for you to head back to school. You don’t really want to go.

I mean, your house is way nicer than your place at school.

Plus, as crazy as your family drove you, you are sad to leave them.

But they seem ready for you to go.

Even your family pet wants you to leave.

Once you’re back, you remember how much you love school.

But soon enough, you’ll be back in class and all you’ll think about is the next time you get to head home for a holiday.

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

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