- Normal: You live that #NoFilter life because you agree, you think you’re really pretty.
- Slumber: You like to think you’re a hipster, but you’re too scared to commit to something like Earlybird. There’s a good chance you have a record player at home, but the only album you own is Taylor Swift.
- Crema: Nothing says “I know that I don’t have a tan, so why even try” quite like Crema.
- Ludwig: But like, who even needs to tan when you can Ludwig?
- Aden: If Twilight had a filter, it would be Aden.
- Perpetua: Perpetually making eyes greener, mimosas brighter, and fooling people into thinking you actually have color in your cheeks (God bless).
- Amaro: You throw back every damn Thursday to things that happened only days ago. You know that the best way to make something seem aged is by exposing it to the harsh light of Amaro and giving zero fucks.
- Mayfair: If America was a filter, it would be Mayfair. So if you use Mayfair, you love America, and you excel at life, liberty, and the pursuit of Instagram likes.
- Rise: Like the sun, Rise makes literally everything yellow. If you’re a blonde, and you aren’t using Rise you don’t even deserve your golden hair.
- Hudson: This filter is reserved for the iciest bitches in the game. It turns any warm setting into a freezing pit of unflattering death. Sure, your snow pictures will look glistening, but your complexion? Puh-lease.
- Valencia: Yeah, you own a beanie, and you’ve actually worn it in public. We say hipster, you say unique. Whatever makes you feel better as you post inspirational pictures of yourself in fields.
- X-Pro II: You reel in the Insta likes like it’s your job and with X-Pro II you’re not afraid to post a makeup free selfie because the filter of the gods is on your (best) side.
- Sierra: If you use Sierra on anything other than landscapes, you can’t sit with us.
- Willow: The “I don’t really look great in this picture, but black and white is my best bet” filter. Sure it’s a cop-out, but hey, we’ve all been there, so we’ll give you a pity like anyway.
- Lo-Fi: You post pictures of your food, despite the fact that everyone hates you for it. You know people don’t care what your breakfast looks like, but when waffles head toward you, you just can’t help yourself.
- Earlybird: Sunflowers in hair? Smiling in front of a wall tapestry? Looking off in the distance on a train track? Yeah, you Earlybird the shit out of your wanna be hipster life but, #whatever.
- Brannan: You like that washed out, no contrast, pale as the bone look. People say you’re a drama queen and well, they’re right.
- Inkwell: Because sometimes Willow just isn’t emo enough.
- Hefe: Hefe is never a bad choice. The fact that you know this is proof that you will succeed in life. Trust me, it’s science.
- Nashville: BRB listening to Taylor Swift for the rest of my life.
- Sutro: There’s a high chance that you drink hard liquor and kiss boys with beards. You’re too busy being a fucking boss to check Instagram much, but when you do, you’re rolling in the compliments.
- Toaster: You don’t get it. You’re a disgrace. And you can’t sit with us.
- Walden: If you have things to cover, bags to hide, or mistakes to gloss over, Walden is for you. You don’t always make the best decisions, but at least this filter makes your shambly life look somewhat quaint.
- 1977: This filter, and everyone who uses it, should have been left in 1977.
- Kelvin: Go fuck yourself..
Nice Move356
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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@rachelvarina
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