It’s 2015. Nowadays, we’re essentially all just summations of the media we consume, and that includes social media. Between Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, we can barely scroll through our apps fast enough to keep up with the world without getting carpal tunnel. Sure, each social media site serves its own purpose, but your favorite site says more about you than you might think. And you thought you just had to worry about the number of “likes” you got? HA.
Facebook: In the words of Damien, “You’re the queen bee, the star.” Those other sites are just your little workers. You’re the girl in your group of friends who brings everyone together. You can pretty much do anything, from being the go-to drunk photographer in your group of friends to being the Addy-fueled term paper editor. Everyone likes you — even those people who claim they’re too cool to hang out with you. Guess what? They always come crawling back with the “likes.”
Twitter: You’re really funny. Or, at least you like to think that you’re really funny. You check social media way too often to rely solely on Facebook for status updates, and your thoughts are shallow enough to be expressed in 140 characters or less. #Whatever
Myspace: Are you a twelve-year-old girl in 2005? No? Then why are you still on Myspace? I’m pretty sure even Tom quit the site and deleted those oh-so-awful posts from middle school. Cut your losses and log off. You’re basically irrelevant.
Instagram: You either really like to eat or you really like cats. Or both. Instagram has pretty much become an endless feed of what your friends ate for dinner or who has the cutest pet. I get it already, your goat cheese salad looks delish and your new puppy is super cute. But hey, I like pets and food, so why complain?
Reddit: Are you even in a sorority? What does PNM stand for? What’s a legacy? While some people might find Reddit entertaining and informative, you’re probably one of the only Greeks who frequents the site. But, like, kudos to you for branching out? Just make sure you try to give us a good reputation and don’t make us all seem like alcoholic blonde clones of Elle Woods. Some of us are brunette.
Snapchat: You either:
a) Enjoy sending ugly selfies of yourself to your pledge family.
b) Like sending pictures of your boobs to that boy you kinda sorta sometimes are maybe hooking up with on weekends.
c) All of the above.
If you’re anything like me, you enjoy secretly taking videos of your friends doing embarrassing things then putting them in your story. Yeah, I’m that girl.
Pinterest: You’re creative and organized. You also may or may not be obsessively planning your dream wedding to a nonexistent groom. What color are your bridesmaid dresses? No shame. Pinterest is like online hoarding for clothes, food, and hot guys, so I fully support it. Pin on.
Total Sorority Move: You’re awesome. You also probably like coolers and drinking. You are proficient at holding back your drunk friend’s hair and talking your little into doing the same stupid things you did when you were her age. You’re sassy and fun and you can totally sit with us..
Nice Move445
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InVinoVeritas
InVinoVeritas is a recent college graduate who spends most of her time drowning her sorrows of graduation in coffee and tequila shots. She enjoys monogramming anything that doesn't move and drinking copious amounts of wine. Compliments, love letters, and cute videos of animals dressed as humans can be sent to invinoveritastsm@gmail.com.
@VinoVeritasTSM
