The Bachelor
You love everything monogrammed. Anytime you receive a text from a boy you consult no fewer than ten of your closest sisters. You’re convinced you’re a Charlotte even though plenty of Samantha nights are thrown into the mix on your quest to find a bachelor of your own. You followed the royal wedding religiously, because you know you’re next (you always thought Harry was cuter, anyway). You hid your Pinterest wedding board once it exceeded a thousand pins, since there’s no husband in sight (besides Ryan Gosling as soon as he meets you). Every time you acquire a new suitor you know he’s the one, even when his behavior suggests otherwise. After all, maybe he only texts you after midnight because nighttime is more romantic. For date parties you always attempt to convince your guy of the moment to dress up as the Prince Charming to your Cinderella, but he’d rather be the pimp to your ho.
See also: Say Yes to the Dress
Parks and Recreation
When a date party rolls around, you’re often left scrambling for someone to take, leaving you the victim of countless awkward setups. There was the gentleman who accidentally locked himself into a broom closet (the fire marshall had to break him out in an embarrassing display), the boy who got into a brawl with a member of his rival fraternity during your romantic night out (didn’t get that venue deposit back), and the date convinced the bus was the bathroom (it wasn’t). Your sisters are always there to help you avoid being sent to standards for your date’s behavior, and to bail you out of campus jail (but that was only one time).
See also: Girls
Revenge
You’re no one’s Saturday night slampiece. You may or may not have an Emily Thorne-inspired web in your dorm room, or at least floating around your brain. You’re probably an expert at Internet stalking, but if you’re not, you have someone to do it for you. You love recruitment because you can blacklist any girl who gets in your way. You always have a hot date for Formal because you start planning plotting months in advance. While your sisters are too drunk to care, you’re watching and waiting for your dream date to appear, and you know he’s coming because you planted a tracking device saw it on Facebook, obviously.
See also: Scandal
Nashville
You’ll always be daddy’s little girl (as long as daddy never finds out what you’re up to at school). The sorority uniform (letters, norts, and a frocket) is your signature go-to ensemble. You’ll add a bow if you’re feeling fancy. Every year after formal, there’s an announcement that someone left a single shoe at the venue, and the owner of said shoe is always you. Your dream is to one day be Recruitment Chair, just like your big was before you. You started crafting for your little before you met, so you hope she likes glitter and camouflage.
See also: Duck Dynasty
New Girl
You love a kitschy costume. While your sisters squeeze into their sexiest leopard leotards for the Wild Things party, you’re searching for the perfect cat sweater. Your life is always sometimes in shambles. Your date for functions is usually a platonic guy friend, a girl friend from outside the sorority, or a “metro”sexual pal. On the off chance you bring a potential love interest, he spends the night treating you like one of his bros. You love planning sisterhood events like laser tag and mini-golf, but hate attempting to convince your sisters to come with.
See also: The Mindy Project
Pretty Little Liars
You know every single one of your sisters’ dirty little secrets. When you’re not gossiping, you’re cyberstalking your crush, taking pictures that will get other sororities put on probation, or handpicking the new pledge class. You’re on the recruitment committee because you know which freshman is sleeping with the entire football team, and you’re on the standards committee because it’s the best place to learn who the hottest mess in the house is.
See also: Gossip Girl
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Fleur de Lilly
Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.
@margaretabrams
@margaretabrams
