It may not be as important as the filter you chose to cement your #aesthetic, the cute pun in your username or the strangers you’ve convinced over the years to take highly posed photos of you in cute outfits, but your Instagram bio is one of the first things people see when they check out your profile. Plus, it’s visible to everyone even if your profile is set to private (and by everyone, I mean all those potential followers you’re trying to attract). That makes it pretty darn revealing. So what secret messages are you sending with your carefully-chosen 140-ish characters?
The Funny Girl
You’re eager to showcase your incredible wit, so your bio features a link to your Twitter (or maybe even to your TSM page). You spend way more time thinking of clever captions than you do editing your photos. Maybe you’re not the hottest girl on the block/in the chapter, but when someone needs a cute caption or a snappy comeback, you’re the one they call.
Your bio is chock full of flag emojis and/or airport codes. You spent a whole summer in France, which totally means you can claim citizenship there, right? You also flew to LA once to visit your sister, so that means “NYC & LAX” is going in your bio. Either that, or you’re actually rich enough to travel the world and stay in your family’s multiple vacation homes (in that case, call me. I’m not single, but we can work something out).
The Career Woman
College. Major. Prestigious internships. Maybe your GPA? Okay, your bio is a better fit for LinkedIn than Instagram, but that’s just because you know that employers will eagerly stalk all your social media, and you want to be prepared. No inside jokes or alcohol references for you – you’re here to get a solid job, get that paper, and get off the internet. Kudos on being a better (albeit slightly more annoying) person than the rest of us.
The Hot One
Your bio is short on words and long on Snapchat usernames (and maybe a flower emoji or two). After all, people will judge you for posting eight consecutive selfies on Instagram, but Snapchat is still the Wild West. And you want everyone to see how cute you look when you use the puppy filter. Or the flower crown filter. Or both!
The Pop Culture Addict
If anyone can reference Kim K, Friends, Rihanna and Mean Girls in less than 200 characters, it’s you. Your bio is jam-packed with funny quotes and lyrics you love (and so are all your captions). You got triple-digit likes on a photo of you at a Beyoncé concert.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” is your mantra. Your bio is that Marilyn Monroe quote about being selfish, impatient and a little insecure. You’ve definitely posted inspirational quotes written in calligraphy that you downloaded off Pinterest, plus every drink off the Starbucks Secret Menu. Yeah, you’re maybe a little bit of a stereotype, but you’re having a damn good time.
If your boyfriend’s name is anywhere in your Instagram bio, you need to get off this website and go back to doing your algebra homework. If you’re older than thirteen, you seriously need to re-evaluate your life choices. Please, respect yourself. For all of our sakes. .