What Your New Year’s Eve Outfit Says About You

What Your NYE Outfit Says About You

Sequin Dress And Six-Inch Pumps
Let there be no mistake, you will have a wild time tonight. Since you can’t really wear glitter, a sequin dress is obviously your next best choice. Normally, you’d totally freeze your ass off wearing something like this, but tonight you’ll have a cozy champagne comforter to keep you warm as you bounce stumble from bar to bar. After a few hours of tip-toeing around in those enormous heels, you’ll want to give up and carry your shoes around like a club-hopping rookie, but fear not! There are backup flats in your bag for after you’ve sealed the deal on a midnight kiss.

High-Waisted Pencil Skirt And Matching Crop Top
After watching Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” video, you can’t get enough of this fad. It’s classy with a naughty side. It says, “I could totally demo your fancy car with a golf club and still look amazingly hot and sophisticated while doing so.” Even though you had to skip out on Mom’s Christmas cookies the entire break to reveal a tiny segment of your midriff, it was SO worth the pain (and pissing off Mom). Your midnight will probably be spent sucking face with some guy in a fedora, requesting way too many white girl songs, and making incredibly regrettable decisions.

Little Black Dress
You are a classic lady who won’t succumb to the glitz and the glam of New Year’s Eve like all the other girls. Your LBD is perfectly adorned with delicate gold and silver accent pieces. You’ve done this night before amongst the wild crowd, but tonight you’ll take on the dinner party scene. Looking classy is a must in this scenario, as you know. After all, you don’t want any cute trust fund babies to think you’ve gone crazy with Daddy’s money, now do you? You look older and more mature, so all the guys in black suits and skinny ties will eye you up and down all night long.

Lacey Outfit And Statement Necklace
Sweet and simple with a kick, this outfit is perfect for landing a nice gentleman for some late-night lip-locking. Lace is the ultimate way of showing skin without really showing skin, and guys go fucking nuts over it. It’s an outfit you can get away with wearing to your (sucky) retail job, dinner with your parents, and a night out with the girls. You could even wear it to New Year’s brunch tomorrow and not be the least bit embarrassed.

Flannel Shirt, Wool Skirt, And Equestrian Boots
There’s a place your family goes to every year. It’s probably a ski resort, a lake house, or some relative’s New England home. It’s snowy outside and you don’t really have anyone to impress. Wearing a New Year’s Eve dress would make you look totally out of place and inappropriate, so while all your friends are living it up as sparkly figures out in the streets of some city, you’ll be sitting with the family cat, watching “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve,” and going to bed as soon as the ball drops. On the bright side, at least you won’t have a hangover tomorrow.

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premed donna

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to

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