Studying abroad is a rite of passage and a way to find yourself, but mostly, it’s a great excuse to spend your parents’ money on foreign booze. You likely spent months begging your dad to let you go because it would be a “great learning experience,” and you cried literal tears of joy when he agreed to release you to the world. But what does where you chose to go say about you?
You don’t speak any foreign languages, and you don’t want to learn any. You’re also hoping that the Burberry coat you bought for those cold, rainy London days will hide the fifteen pounds you gained after your breakup (it won’t). At least once on your trip, you’ll be spotted wearing an American flag T-shirt, because #Merica. During your time not spent rubbing our 1776 victory in the Brits’ faces, you’ll search for the members of One Direction: Harry, Zayn, and — wait, what are the others named? Whatever, Harry is the only one who matters. Speaking of famous Harrys, every day, you’ll have at least one daydream about meeting Prince Harry and becoming BFFs with Kate. Don’t get your hopes up — he bangs supermodels, not college girls. Your prospects aren’t completely dim, though. You’ll hook up with five or six British guys who would be sixes in America, but their accents boost them up to solid eights. Throughout the semester, you’ll attend 75 percent of your classes, most of which you’ll go to in order to escape the rain.
You’re a hopeless romantic. Could there be a better place to meet a man than in the city of love? Plus, the ring by spring deadline is quickly approaching, and you wouldn’t mind marrying a Frenchie. Your blind trust in strangers will result in you being pick-pocketed seven times. Seriously, that kid doesn’t want to give you a flyer, he wants an iPhone 6. Eventually, you’ll learn and you’ll spend the rest of your trip wearing a fanny pack. Undoubtedly, you’ll put a lock on the lovelock bridge and vow to return someday with your soulmate.
You’re one of the millions of kids who decided to take Spanish in high school, and it’s finally paying off. You’ll spend most of your time getting drunk on sangria, and you will post a picture of every glass you drink on Instagram (#wheninSpain). Your excessive drinking will result in severe judgment from your host mom. She will pray for you. During your drunken rampage, you’ll hook up with a slew of Spanish men who constantly say “no hablo Ingles,” which actually doesn’t bother you at all. You’ll attend a total of five classes the whole three months.
Really? People study abroad here? You obviously love your mom so much that you can’t stand to be on a different continent. You will go to literally every single one of your classes because there is nothing else to do in Canada — at least, nothing you can’t do here.
You look damn good in a bikini. You’ll spend almost every day tanning on the beach while sending pictures to all of your friends with the sun emoji. Eventually, someone will suggest that you road trip to the outback. As much as you love riding in a Jeep with the top down, you’ll say no, because snakes. One day, while you’re skipping class, you’ll meet an Aussie surfer who resembles Liam Hemsworth. You’ll start dating him and bring him back to America with you. All your friends will be absurdly jealous (and secretly hope he has a shitty personality). Unfortunately, you were too busy learning to surf with your new man that you forgot to go to any of your classes. You’ll have to retake the courses in summer school.
Anywhere In Asia
You’re probably really cultured and can rock a kimono. I don’t know what goes on in Asia, so fill me in once you get back. If I had to guess, I’d say you go to all of your classes, because Asians like school..