One of the incredible things about spring break is that, without fail, somebody from your crew is going to fall in love. Some may say it’s just the booze talking, but it isn’t. After months, semesters, years of your refusal to commit, your hatred of romance, and your general disposition of an undateable person, you will all come together in a city of hedonism, and a great many of you will meet someone you’re convinced is “the one.” Your faith will in mankind be restored, and you can finally confirm to yourself the one truth you’d always feared. It really is JUST our school — there is something in the well drinks there, because the boys are just heartless, soulless mutants who hate women and love. EVERYONE we met on spring break was instantly taken by us. That’s not a coincidence.
It’s not a coincidence. It’s just that when you’re in a beautiful location far away from home, everyone is looking to hook up. There are no games, no tricks, no gimmicks. You don’t overanalyze things, and he doesn’t have to be a dick, because you both know it’s temporary. When you shove all the bullshit aside, it’s easy to realize you have feelings for each other.
When you go back to school, you’ll spend exactly one month texting each other, less and less each week, and finally cut contact when you’ve accepted the fact that you’re never going to see him again, and you need to find a date to formal who won’t need to be airlifted to the event. But just in case you were wondering, here’s a list of which week every school in the country is going on spring break, so you can figure out where your star-crossed lover is from ahead of time. Figure out if any of those schools have good medical programs, and if you’re crazy enough, you can start stalking now.
February 28 – March 8
Florida Atlantic University
Siena Heights University
Adrian College
Brevard College
Southern New Hampshire University
College of Charleston
Barry University
University of South Florida
Loyola University of Chicago
Boston College
Loyola University in Maryland
University of Maine
University of Michigan at Ann Arbor
Davidson College
Mount St. Mary College – NY
John Carroll University
Ohio University
Xavier University
Ashland University
King’s College
Duquesne University
Muhlenberg College
Temple University
Villanova University
York College of Pennsylvania
Gannon University
LaSalle University
University of Tennessee-Martin
Vanderbilt University
Roanoke College
Longwood College
University of Vermont
March 7 – March 15
University of Alaska Anchorage
Arizona State University
Colorado School of Mines
Fairfield University
United States Coast Guard Academy
Georgetown University
American University
George Washington University
Florida State University
University of Central Florida
University of Tampa
Emory University
Morehouse College
University of Georgia
Illinois State University
Northern Illinois University
Southern Illinois University Carbondale
Southern Illinois University Edwardsville
University of Iowa
Butler University
Eastern Kentucky University
Western Kentucky University
Boston University
Northeastern University
Bentley University
Michigan State University
Central Michigan University
Minnesota State University
St. Cloud State University
Missouri State University
Washington University of St. Louis
University of Mississippi
East Carolina University
High Point University
North Carolina State University
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
University of North Carolina at Greensboro
UNCW
Duke University
Wingate University
College of New Jersey
Montclair State University
Seton Hall University
University of Rochester
Bowling Green State University
Case Western Reserve University
Youngstown State University
Bucknell University
Carnegie Mellon University
Clarion University of Pennsylvania
Dickinson College
Lehigh University
Penn State
Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania
St. Josephs University
University of Pennsylvania
Pitt
Robert Morris University
Bryant University
Coastal Carolina University
College of William and Mary
University of South Dakota
UTSA
Baylor University
SMU
TCU
Northern Kentucky University
Quinnipiac University
Providence College
Utah State University
Gettysburg College
James Madison University
Lynchburg College
Old Dominion University
University of Virginia
Virginia Commonwealth University
Liberty University
University of Miami (Fl.)
March 14 – March 22
University of Alabama
University of Arizona
Chico State
USC (California)
Colorado State University
University of Denver
University of Northern Colorado
University of Connecticut
Iowa State University
University of Northern Iowa
Bradley University
Eastern Illinois University
Western Illinois University
Indiana University
Purdue University
University of Kansas
Kansas State University
University of Massachusetts
Appalachian State University
Harvard University
United States Naval Academy
University of Maryland
Johns Hopkins University
Towson University
University of Minnesota
University of Central Missouri
North Dakota State University
University of North Dakota
University of New Hampshire
Monmouth University
Princeton University
Rutgers
Marist College
New York University
SUNY at Albany
Columbia University
SUNY at Buffalo
Ohio State University
Oklahoma State University
University of Oklahoma
Allegheny College
University of Rhode Island
Clemson University
University of South Carolina
University of North Texas
University of Nevada
Iona College
Fordham University
Manhattan College
Texas A&M University
Texas State University
University of Houston
Drake University
University of Idaho
University of Kentucky
Fordham University
University of Texas at Austin
University of Utah
Virginia Military Institute
University of Wyoming
March 21 – March 29
Auburn University
University of Arkansas
University of Central Arkansas
UCLA
University of Colorado at Boulder
Boise State University
DePaul University
University of Illinois
University of Chicago
University of Illinois at Chicago
Dartmouth College
MIT
University of Missouri
Elon University
University of Nebraska
Rochester Institute of Technology
Union College
Miami University-OH
Kent State University
University of Akron
University of Oregon
Drexel University
Washington & Jefferson College
United States Air Force Academy
Brown University
University of Washington
University of Wisconsin-Whitewater
West Virginia University
March 28 – April 5
California State University-Long Beach
San Diego State University
University of Delaware
Tulane University
Cornell University
University of Wisconsin-Madison
April 4 – April 12
Hofstra University
SUNY at Binghamton
Don’t have too much fun, people..
[via Student City]
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
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