Columns

When It’s Acceptable To Show Off Your Bitch Face

Screen Shot 2014-11-20 at 3.12.08 PM

Lately, the bitch face has swept social media platforms. Some people have admitted they “suffer” from CBF (chronic bitch face) and others understand that not everyone’s face is capable of being happy, smiley, and cheery all day, every day. Great, I’m happy we’re all accepting each other for who we are. Personally, I’ve had to deal with the issues that arise from being cursed with CBF, like people thinking I don’t like them or that I’m unimpressed or in a bad mood. While I often try to correct this look that quite literally plagues me, there are times that the bitch face is well-warranted, and I use it like nobody’s business.

When your coffee order is wrong.
I understand that everyone makes mistakes. It happens. But, you know, if it’s 8 a.m. and my Starbucks barista can’t get my drink right, I’ll bitch face away and send it back. Good coffee has the power to make or break your entire workday. It’s an ugly cycle, really. Bad coffee, bad day. So, no, baristas of the world, I will not control my bitch face if you can’t do your job. I’m trusting you here; don’t let me down.

When someone asks a really, really, really dumb question.
Sometimes, it’s just necessary. As I’m sure most of us with jobs know, there is such a thing as a stupid question, contrary to what our elementary teachers told us. Facial expression is a tell-all that not only alerts people of how we’re feeling, but tells them what actions are needed in a situation. Sorry dude, this work meeting isn’t a time to ask me about the NBA draft (as if I actually care). We both look bad now–thanks.

When you see someone at the gym sitting on a machine…texting.
In this situation, the bitch face is like saying, “While I’m sure that makes a nice seat for you, I’m over here trying to get an ass, abs, and a toned everything else. If you could move, that’d be wonderful” without using any words. Tooooo easyyyyy.

When someone’s taking advantage of you.
If I offer to buy you Starbucks, that does not mean I’m offering to buy you a full breakfast and a venti iced super expensive whatever you want. If someone’s being nice, don’t be that bitch who uses someone, overstays her welcome, or doesn’t pitch in or help out every now and again. Being a bitch warrants a bitch face. It’s logic.

When someone you don’t like gives you the bitch face first.
Never back down. That’s all.

Email this to a friend

JayneSimpson

Can usually be found with an iced coffee in one hand, her iPhone in the other, and her life in glittery shambles around her. She enjoys half price margaritas, sharing screenshots of things guys say to her, girl gangs, and people telling her she's pretty on Instagram, even though she's def catfish.

1 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More