For all of us iPhone users out there, we’ve experienced the new diversity emoji update. We’ve enjoyed custom picking our emojis to reflect our skin tone and hair color – making the hair flip girl the perfect representation of ourselves. For the most part, it’s a lot more inclusive. Unfortunately, however, Apple gave a great big middle finger to one affected party’s hopes and dreams of diversity. That’s right – I’m talking about the wine glass emoji.
For years we’ve been using the red wine emoji when our hearts have been crying out to use white. We’ve texted it to our friends to mean “let’s celebrate!” when, if we were being honest, red wine would mean, “let’s put on a Nicholas Sparks movie, cry for an hour, and then fall asleep at 9 p.m.” Emoji use is all about expressing your emotions through images. Unless we’re talking about the above scenario, red wine doesn’t come close to what we actually want to express. If we’re being perfectly honest, we’re not using the wine glass emoji to tell someone that we’re enjoying a nice meal of steak and spaghetti marinara with a robust merlot and then catching up on that fiction series we’ve been meaning to read but haven’t had time for. Usually, we mean to say that something is either going really awesome or really terribly, and we’re going to drink moscato out of a straw until we can’t see straight anymore. While white wine represents very specific things to many of us, we can’t forget about our good friend rosé either. The thing is, I really just want to be honest about my choice in wine to my friends when I’m planning on taking a two-hour bubble bath and listening to Ed Sheeran on repeat, okay?
Honestly Apple, it’s really offensive and rude to not include the wine glass in your diversity update. By including some, you’ve excluded others, and you owe white wine a great big apology. From celebrating promotions to crying over exes, white wine has been there for all of us through thick and thin, and we need to be able to accurately express our love of it through emoji. Red wine is for breakups and adults, and honestly, those situations rarely apply to us. We drink our white wine to celebrate, we drink it because it tastes great, and we drink it because we want to have fun. Not getting it in the update feels like we’re stabbing a best friend in the back every time we use the red glass.
Apple, give us our moscatos, our rieslings, our sauvignon blancs. Give us the wine emojis we need and deserve. Dogs may be a man’s best friend, but white wine is a girl’s. Watch your sales skyrocket and your fan base explode as females across the world can FINALLY group text their friends with their true beverage of choice six nights a week (oh yeah, and we’ll still need a tequila shot for the seventh)..
Nice Move548
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RecruitmentChairTSM
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com
@TheRecruitChair
