In today’s society, being a woman in your twenties is all about you: finding your dream job, finding out who you are meant to be, and, of course, finding your bridesmaids. While girls are all about finding the women to stand by their side when they tie the knot, most of us are told to never, NEVER (or at least never in college) find the guy to stand in front of us as the groom. Or someone who’s a contender to be the groom. Or even a guy who you know won’t be the groom, but he’s funny, nice, and committed (for a little while, at least).
We hear it all the time: be single. Do you. Figure yourself out. Date around.
With inspirational articles about staying single forever, featuring pictures of girls laughing and standing on windy beaches, being sans man is totally “in.” So in, in fact, that it has become almost taboo to be a college girl with a boyfriend, because committed girls are hanging back while the single girls run around, sleep around, and pin their wedding for all to see (okay, maybe the girls in relationships are guilty of the last one, too). People look down on “girlfriends” and say they’re wasting the best four (or five if you do it right) years of their lives.
But are they? Is this rare breed of relationship-driven women doing something wrong? Does learning how to be in a relationship–from the heart pounding ups to the blood draining lows–lead to a wasted college life?
Personally, I never understood it. I have always been a serial monogamist, as wrong as it seems nowadays. In a world of one-night stands, chasing boys, and constant “I wonder if this means something” confusion, I was sitting back, riding shotgun with whatever boyfriend I was dating at the time while reaping all the benefits of a committed relationship.
The reality of the situation is that we girlfriends know what we’re doing. We’ve been single. We did the whole “date around thing.” We danced on elevated surfaces (well, we still do) and made out with random guys. It was fun. But it felt like a lie. It felt like we had to prove how totally fine we were with being on our own. Or maybe we loved it, but happened to stumble into the right guy at the right place and time, and boom–we instantly became the girls we hated.
What turns me off most about single girls shaming us is the fact that most (I said MOST, not ALL, calm your mean comment writing fingers down) of the manless ladies want a boyfriend. If these girls are SO happy being single, why do they obsess about if a guy will text them back or not? Why are they trying so hard to look perfect to lure in their dream man? And why are they looking down at those of us who have successfully navigated around the landmine of college life and have the coveted “in a relationship” status on our Facebook profiles?
That doesn’t mean everyone is itching to find someone to watch Netflix with or is accepting of the fact that they didn’t shave their legs today. Lots of single ladies are totally happy being single. They like being able to do what they want, when they want, with whomever they want. Before you call us stupid, think over the facts.
We don’t have to pay for about 50 percent of our meals, so we’re in a better place financially. We have another place to sleep when our roommate is being a bitch. His place is more fun, (despite its lack of Ikea décor) and he has a fully stocked bar, so we can add joy and liquid happiness to our lives. We also get to experiment much more sexually, because we’ve found a man we feel comfortable with as opposed to a string of random, sexually frustrated guys. More orgasms for us!
Being in the right relationship in college can teach you about love, commitment, and the balance between having a boyfriend and having a life. It’s not for everyone, and that’s fine. But it is for some of us, and that’s fine, too. Some girls just want to have fun, live their own lives, and do whatever the hell they want, so being single just makes sense. But for some of us, the lucky ones, we have all of that with our boyfriends. And that is truly a reason to be #blessed.