Let’s rewind to that glorious day in April when you took your last final. You didn’t have a care in the world other than moving everything you own out of your third floor apartment BY YOURSELF (despite tweeting/subtweeting after every trip down and back up the stairs that you would literally do anything for some male support) to your car where you then played the oh-so-exciting game of Tetris: Trunk Edition. After it took you and three sisters to get your trunk to close, you headed off to wherever you spent SUMMER 2014 TURN DOWN FOR WHAT? During the car ride, you got your summer priorities straight:
1. Have the greatest summer ever/make it seem like you have the greatest summer ever.
2. Return to school in August with the tan of a Brazilian goddess and with Carrie Underwood’s legs.
3. Find a summer fling.
Taking care of your first two summer goals was a piece of cake, but somehow number three took a while to fall into place. So, you went about your summer: hitting the bars, going to the pool, sizing up the other interns in your office. Maybe you’re desperate, like me, and you shamelessly downloaded Tinder. But it was five days into June and you still hadn’t seen any boys who you would let come within a 10-foot radius of your vagina, so you started to lose hope. Then, one day, it was like everything changed. The wind blew your hair flawlessly, your pupils dilated, your heart began to race, and you started sweating because you had spotted your summer man candy.
Things were going great. He took you on fun sushi dates. You went to the pool. Maybe he even had a boat that allowed you to spend hours working on summer priority number two, EPIC. FUCKING. TAN. For once in your life, you had nothing to bitch about and no boy drama. Because he didn’t go to your school, you two had a lot of stuff to talk about and nothing ever got too serious. It was the middle of July and that little voice in the back of your head said, “Why hasn’t he brought up the school year, should I bring up the school year?” You ignored that voice because you decided from the beginning that you were going to be the cool, go with the flow, only in this to have fun type of girl, not the neurotic psycho you are the other eight months of the year.
SUMMER 2014 TURN DOWN FOR WHAT was coming to an end and he still hadn’t asked to be your boyfriend, he hadn’t asked which football weekend would be the best for him to come visit, he hadn’t asked if you had your date party/formal social calendar yet, AND HE HADN’T EVEN ASKED what you wanted to do when you got back to school. This was making you a little panicky, but like I said earlier, you were being the cool girl and going with the flow. So, again, you had to pack up everything you own, but this time you had someone to carry all your heavy boxes full for you. He probably even arranged everything to fit perfectly in your car on the first try. You kissed him for the millionth time and said “be seeing you”–cool girl, not clingy.
On your car ride back to school you reflected on the summer, how great it was, and how lucky you were to have met and spent time with someone so fun. Then it dawned on you: “Am I ever going to see him again? Is my life a movie? Is he chasing me with his car to tell me how much he will miss me and immediately ask me to be his girlfriend?” you asked yourself. The answer was no.
You didn’t have much more time to think or get all those emotions straight before you had a group of 10 girls running at you screaming how excited they were to see you and how much they had missed you. Because you’re the socialite you are, you immediately immersed yourself into a welcome week blackout followed by a syllabus week blackout followed by a full social calendar of themed gatherings, thirsty Thursday, mixers, pregames, football Saturdays and the miserable get-my-life-together Sundays. You can’t even think straight because you have few to no brain cells left. And not to mention, if your school does fall recruitment, the only other humans you think about are your rush crush and the PNM sitting in front of you. What’s her name again?
You texted and snapped your summer man all day, every day when you returned to school, but then those texts fizzled out. They faded to once a day, then a couple days a week, then they all but disappeared into the casual catchup or sporadic snap. You didn’t even have time to miss him because of how hectic your life was; but now that things have settled down, you begin to really feel some emptiness.
So what does any warm-blooded female do when she starts to miss a guy? Stalk. Stalk his Facebook. Stalk his Twitter. Stalk his Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Google+, you name it. Just like you, he participated in the welcome week and syllabus week shenanigans. He has a bunch of newly tagged photos with unfamiliar girls whose profiles are so locked down that the only dirt you can see are their four recent profile pictures and cover photos. So the jealousy pains start to hit: “Is he hooking up with her? Or her? Or her?! Did he already forget about me? Does he think I forgot about him? Should I text him?” The answer is still no.
The best part about summer flings is how distraction-free they are. Usually, there is little to no temptation, and from the start, both parties know there is really nowhere the relationship can go, unless you take the long distance route, which will usually cause a lot of fights, a lot of jealousy, and a messy breakup. At school, dudes are always looking for the next best thing and because you didn’t have to deal with that, you were able to let your guard down and be the best version of yourself. Analyzing why you are no longer his number one priority is only a disadvantage to you. Look at your summer romance as a learning experience. Not everything has to be so serious all the time. You are capable of being the cool girl (shocking, I know). Not everyone gets a “Notebook”-esque summer love story, but you probably learned a lot about yourself and how much fun you can be with another person if you actually silence that neurotic voice in the back of your head and let your insecurities go. Take this newfound knowledge and fun, laid back attitude with you on your next male conquest; you will be surprised how differently it will go and delighted that everything will start to play out in your favor.
Nice Move362
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BigTenBlonde
Just a smart blonde keeping her standards as high as her red bottomed heels. Go big or go home.
@BigTenBlonde
@BigTenBlonde
